Thursday, September 9, 2010

How was my day, you ask?

Well, where do I begin!

It all started good. My friends had a couch that they wanted to get rid of, and I've been wanting to get a new one for the lounge in the studio for quite some time so I figured it was a great opportunity! Of course, I'd need a trailer to pick it up. No problem: my parents recently told me that they'd bought a trailer together with some of our relatives, so I decided to use that one, naturally.

Went to my brother's house to pick it up but...it wasn't there. Managed to track it to my uncle, who in turn had handed it over to my cousin, and she was using it at the moment. Well well, not much I could do about that, so I just drove to the nearest gas station to rent one. I don't know why I never went for that option before because it only cost me around 14 euros!

So I hooked on the trailer and headed over to the studio to get some assistance from the band I'm currently working with (a Scottish group called UKTENA) who graciously helped me drag the old messed up couch that was defiling the space at the moment. The drummer joined me to the dump. No problems there and we left, sans disgusting old fart sofa, and headed into town to pick up the other one.

I was lucky enough to get a parking spot right outside the building, and after some struggle getting the big lump down four flights of stairs, it was loaded onto the trailer and we headed back to the studio.

Here is where things start to spin out of control... I was driving my parents' car since my sack of shit is basically beyond repair (or I simply stopped caring). It's not exactly new, but it's a pretty decent car nevertheless. Except for today.

BAM! The car comes to a screeching halt. In the middle of traffic. In the middle of town. In the left fucking lane. My first though: oh great, the trailer must have come off. A quick look in the rear view mirror revealed something else: smoke coming from the right rear tire. I went out to see what the hell just happened. Checked the trailer and the connection, no problems there. Went back in the car, tried to move but it was clear that the right rear tire was stuck. REALLY stuck. I tried to pump the breaks. Nothing. The hand break. Nothing.

Cars started piling up behind us, apparently clueless to the fact that I wasn't moving and that I had the warning lights on. Well, that's their problem...

As luck would have it, my parents are smart enough to have an additional insurance that includes towing , so I called the company and I have to say, from here on I couldn't be happier with how things progressed. The towing car showed up in less than 10 minutes. We had to get rid of the trailer though so we rolled it away and managed to get a parking spot. Went together with the towing car to the repair shop, they took it in immediately and the towing guy made some calls and arranged with a car to borrow while my parents' one is in the shop. This insurance came in pretty damn handy!

Went over to Europcar and picked up a nice Volvo, then headed over to where the trailer was and picked it up. Onward to the studio, unloaded the couch and headed straight over to the gas station to return the trailer. 2 hours late so I had to pay an additional charge of 10 euros. But come on... This could have been a lot worse!

I was back in the studio around 4PM to go on with the tracking. But what the hell...I got a free couch, right!? Got a call from the repair shop later as well, the car will be ready to pick up tomorrow. Of course now I'd rather keep the Volvo. But you can't have everything. ;)

HUGE thanks go out to FALCK for doing an amazing job in helping me sort all this crap out! Many thanks (and apologies) to UKTENA as well for putting up with all this shit.

Thanks for reading!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Questions

I get questions about "studio trickery" now and then. A lot of what I do are things I kind of stumble upon. Maybe I'm trying something out and on the way there I happen to just get the notion that "this is it". This can also turn in the total opposite direction of course, where everything I try just makes it sound worse. I guess the key is to just keep trying until it works, and not think too much about what's conventional.

With that said, I still enjoy answering these questions, even if everything has to be in context, something I hope people will understand. So basically I'm hereby inviting people to ask whatever they want about my productions. Sometimes I have time to answer in depth, other times I don't. Sometimes I can't really remember, but often I do. Anyway, feel free to contact me if there's anything you wonder about! I'll try my best to answer your questions.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

What goes on

- "Cardinal, this is not good... We're being attacked left-and-right about the sexual molestations, we need to do something."

- "Well, Papa, we need to do something that appeals to the youngsters of today. Wait, I've got it! Let's forgive The Beatles for saying they were more popular than Jesus!"

- "Brilliant, cardinal, that ought to shut them up! Alert the media at once."

Sunday, March 21, 2010

"Burger King"? Sorry, that title is taken

Everybody likes a good burger, right? Well, not vegetarians, but there are some really good alternatives for them as well. In fact I have a great recipe for veggie burgers, but that's for an other day.

So what's in a good burger meal? Bread, some vegetables, sauce, fries, dip sauce, something to drink... Pretty simple, but 1000 different ways to do it.

Let's start with the bread. You can buy ready-made burger bread in the store. Boring. Make your own bread. You can combine a batch with making some "regular" bread as well; then you'll not feel like you just wasted a whole good dough on just burger bread. Bread recipes can be found anywhere, so just look around a bit. One thing's for sure: your home baked bread will kick the ass of any bread you can buy.

Fries: getting a bit bored with ordinary fries, and I think there are way more interesting ways to prepare potatoes if you want something "snack style".
Start by cutting the potatoes into sticks, about twice as big as "regular" fries. I usually don't peel them, it makes the whole dish really bland and takes away a lot of flavor.
Boil them a bit to soften them up. About 10 minutes should do it, maybe a bit less. Then move them over to some suitable overware. Sprinkle with some olive oil and put in the middle of the oven at 250 degrees. Does your oven have a grill function? Even better.
Take the potatoes out after a while, add some salt and sprinkle on a bit more olive oil, and give them a good shake/turn. Put them back in the oven.
The key here is color. You want a nice golden brown thing going on. Then they're done! Add some more salt if needed, and some tarragon or rosemary is also a very good idea.

Dip sauce: I like yogurt based sauces but natural yogurt is often too watery for my taste, especially here in Portugal. The remedy is to filter out some of the liquid using a coffee filter.
Once you've gotten some of the liquid out, transfer to a bowl and add some salt, pepper and pressed garlic. Done!

The burger is the easy part. Good quality minced meat. Usually 100g/burger is enough; 150 is also nice if you have made the breads a bit bigger. Fry one side, turn them over, add some salt and pepper, and a slice of good cheese if you feel like it. Put on a lid in that case to make the cheese melt nicely.

Fry the bead a bit as well. I usually do it before frying the burgers, otherwise I just get stressed from trying to prepare everything at the same time.

Sauce: ketchup is obligatory, but you can make your own which will for sure taste better. Start with some tomato purée. Add a bit of honey, worcestershire sauce, tabasco and dijon mustard. Quantities to taste, but remember that the sauce should be TOMATO based.

Some onion (yellow or red), a slice of tomato and some rocket (ruccola) salad... Done.

Drinks: well, it all depends on your taste. If you're in Portugal, a Sagres Bohemia is a very good idea.

There you have it! Burger, "fries", drink. Feel free to compare this to any meal in any burger joint and let me know which one you preferred. And this one is definitely healthier.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Are you suffering from electrosensitivity? Well of course you are...

Saw a program on Swedish TV yesterday, and I don't really know why I did it because I knew it would severely piss me off in the end. But I was curious to see if they would actually bother to put some SCIENCE into it.

They didn't.

I would actually guess that most people in Sweden have heard about electrosensitivity, or allergy to electricity (elallergi). And herein lies a clue to what makes the whole thing quite hilarious: they talk about it now and then in Swedish media which, according to my theory, brings on more and more cases.

The program in question is called "Outsiders", which is a series showing the lives of a bunch of weirdos and retards. Now, that's my professional opinion. This particular episode featured -- just like in most of the others -- people making wild claims with no evidence to back it up.

Now, let me make this perfectly clear: these people DO show symptoms of discomfort, I will not not challenge that for a bit! But people have to realize how powerful their imagination can be, so to the point that it triggers physical symptoms.

After watching a bunch of weirdos bitch and moan for 25 minutes, we finally get to listen to a doctor who works with these people, and hear her opinion. "Here we go, finally some sense in this one-sided shitfest". Oh yeah, she really laid it down. Apparently it's all a big conspiracy, because accepting this "disease" would be a huge cost on society. Cue, final credit, end of show. WHAT!!?

Let me make it perfectly clear. I do not for one second believe that electrosensitivity exists. I've reached this conclusion from reading reports and results from studies. I do not give a flying fuck what these people say, because I could put a radio mast inside their asses and they would have no clue about if it was transmitting or not! Yeah, I'm an asshole and I don't like to sugarcoat, but this is how the world works.

I made a funny little experiment of my own last year. Me and my wife took the car to check some mountains close to where we live. On one mountain top they had several radio and TV masts (I guess, I don't really care what they were sending out). I asked my wife if she could feel it in her head. Guess what? She started feeling like shit.

This is how the brain works. It makes all kinds of funny assumptions and it tricks you over and over. Not much to do about it, but it does help to know what the hell is going on in there and not be too quick to jump to conclusions.

Towards the end of this piece of TV garbage, we were treated to one of the most fucked up dances I've ever seen, from one of the participants. Why don't you get a real fucking disease? Let's see how well you dance with cancer.

Rant over. Back to work.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Stop thinking and use your ears

So I'm in the middle of the Watain recording session and I'm sitting here thinking about some of the signal chains. It's very easy to listen to much to what people say about what you can and cannot use and stop using your ears.

The setup hasn't been much different than usual I decided to not give a flying fuck about what you're "supposed to use". Hence, we've reached a sound truer to our expectations than I could have imagined when we started out.

All guitars....ALL guitars go through a Behringer Dualfex that I bought maybe 7-8 years ago without much clue about what I needed it for. I find it quite funny that in a signal chain which probably amounts to 8000 euros (it all ads up), the last step before the A/D is a Chinese box that I picked up second hand for 50 euros and that everybody probably hates.

And while we're at it... Main guitars: TLAudio 5001 preamp. Who would ever recommend this piece of "garbage"? Me, that's who. Suck on that. We went through some different pres when we set up the vocal sound as well. Guess which pre we went for?

Bass: PodXT with a 5150->4x12 V30 emulation. I don't think I've ever gotten such a raw bass sound.

Moral of the story? Conventions stink!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Ode to Portugal

Hello Portugal

Could you please explain your perverse obsession with papers, signatures and stamps? Isn't it about time that you get with the program? You ask for every single detail OVER AND OVER and NOBODY ever questions why. Do you really think that you are progressing as a nation with this kind of nonsense? I'm not very happy with how they run the country I'm from either, but at least they have obviously made an effort to make it easy for for people to fill out a simple form and things like that, without getting completely ensnared and entangled in ridiculous bureaucracy that has no place in modern day society. Shame on you, Portugal, shame on you.
"onde está o papel? precisa de um papel!"